Divorce Prevention and Feeding Marital Friendship

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Benjamin Franklin’s words are just as valid today as they were in the 1700s.

This axiom is especially true in the realm of marriage. A little intentionality can prevent a relational disaster of epic proportions. Yes, it takes time and effort to care for your relationship, but divorce is costly. Have you checked the price of a reasonable divorce attorney lately? Not to mention the emotional and spiritual agony of having your life ripped in two. Why not be intentional about protecting and strengthening the most important relationship in your life?

Feed the Friendship

Thriving couples know how to “feed their friendship.” Scientists say there are two main categories of factors influencing our friendships: individual factors and environmental factors. Individual factors include approachability, social skills, self-disclosure, similarity, and closeness. Environmental factors include influences such as proximity, geography, activities, and life events.” Being close and being together are not synonymous, but making time for one another is paramount to enhancing marital friendship. How would you rate the presence of these environmental and individual factors in your marriage? Where are you doing well, and what are your opportunities for growth?

Make Adjustments

Here are four ideas to help strengthen your marital friendship. These concepts are not “one and done” ideas; they are ongoing adjustments to be practiced daily.

● Be more approachable. Pay attention to your body language. Manage your reactions and keep an open mind. Make time for conversation and learn to be an active listener.

● Be polite. Practice your social skills at home. Too often, we treat our coworkers friends and strangers better than we do our spouse. Being nice will enhance your marital satisfaction.

● Be more open. Increasing vulnerability and expanding trust are essential ways to enhance your marital connection. What are your deepest concerns? What are your hopes and dreams? Share them with your spouse and find out theirs too.

● Be together. Being close physically encourages emotional connection. Engage in a fun activity together. There is truth in the adage, “Families who play together stay together.” Make the most of family events and capitalize on the unique opportunities only the two of you share.